Jacqueline Nicholls

it's been a hard year....

2011-10-23T13:08:00.004+01:00

...during which I've been drawing, drawing, drawing through it all. trying to make sense of it. trying to give form to something that is hard to talk about. the 'I am still alive' omer drawings were part of that. and they continued into other drawings, more personal and reflective. here are some of that on-going series

woman in hiding

2011-10-19T01:09:00.007+01:00

new paper-cut

God did not create woman from the head so she will not be lightheaded. The eye, so she will not be inquisitve. The ear, so she will not eavesdrop. The mouth, so she will not be talkative. The heart, so she will not be jealous. The hand, so she will not be acquisitive. Nor from the foot, so she would not seek public acclaim. Rather, she was formed from a hidden part of a man's body, creating each limb saying 'Be a modest woman.' Genesis Rabbah 18:2

it's been a while. I thought the series of paper-cuts - the Ladies Guild Collection - was finished. There were 10 in total, which is a nice round neat number... unfortunately there is just too much rabbinic misogyny to fit into a neat round number.

This text from the midrash is something that has been preying on my mind. It goes through and dissects the body into its potential for sin, and so concludes that women should remain a hidden modest presence.

Women must be hidden, not attract attention, not interact, engage or err. A woman's body must be hidden away not just because of the sin that they might incite, but because it must never be exposed. Women are a hidden presence. And what happens in women's bodies, and in women's heads, must also be hidden and not part of the discussion.

The quote is surrounded by naked women drawing attention to the parts of the body defined by the modesty literature as the edges of being naked - the elbow, the knee and the collarbone.

some of these women are shamed and hiding, and some are defiantly promoting these borderline parts of the body.

storahtelling torah cover

2011-10-09T23:08:00.005+01:00

goodbye 5771 and hello to 5772.

whilst I was not able to be in a service for much of rosh hashana, or any of yom kippur, it was nice to know that a piece of mine was playing its part in a ritual. I had a sort of presence somewhere. My torah cover for storahtelling was finished, shipped and arrived in NY in time for it to be used at their HighHolidays services (despite my fears about customs delays, shipping times or damage in transit).

it was a great project to have worked on. I have written more about it, and a slideshow of the process from sketch to construction to finished piece here.

front view

back view

fun with a staple gun

2011-09-11T03:13:00.002+01:00

every-so often I get an idea into my head that I can just do something I have never done before.... how hard can it be? I wonder.... and so I find myself with staple gun in hand attaching fabric to a MDF cut-out wondering why it isn't aligning properly.... it will be fine, a few tweeks and alterations and It. Will. Be. Fine.

it will be fine.

omer drawings day 49

2011-06-07T16:37:00.005+01:00

49th day - 49 days of walking, picking up the discarded, the remnants, the detritus in the street and drawing. walking and drawing the journey from the time of the narrow spaces to the place of receiving. have I arrived there?.... not sure... but here I am. and I am still alive.

wish you all a good shavuot - chag samech.

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, drawings from week 1, drawings from week 2, drawings from week 3, drawings from week 4, drawings from week 5, drawings from week 6)

omer drawings day 44-48

2011-06-06T21:14:00.004+01:00

the loyal ones amongst you would have noticed that I haven't been posting these drawings over the last few days. I was away in Berlin, but still walking, still drawing, still alive... just not with a scanner or on-line....

here is what you missed...

omer drawings day 43

2011-06-01T16:50:00.003+01:00

omer drawings week 6. days 36-42

2011-05-31T16:35:00.007+01:00

this week I almost stopped this project. I missed a day and got a bit despondent. Drawing little bits of nothing everyday seems nonsense. But not quite as absurd as quitting it with only just over a week to go. So here it is. This weeks collection of detritus and discarded remnants.

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, drawings from week 1, drawings from week 2, drawings from week 3, drawings from week 4, drawings from week 5)

omer drawings day 42

2011-05-31T11:13:00.000+01:00

omer drawings day 41

2011-05-30T16:15:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 40

2011-05-29T15:11:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 39

2011-05-29T00:14:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 38

2011-05-29T00:12:00.002+01:00

omer drawing day 37

2011-05-26T15:11:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 36

2011-05-25T14:46:00.002+01:00

omer drawings week 5. days 29-35

2011-05-24T18:40:00.007+01:00

this week I lost colour, lost my way, and definitely took leave of my senses. on the up side it was uri's birthday. and as he taught me - lag b'omer is about celebrating our ability to start again despite the pain in the past. happy 40th motek. x

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, drawings from week 1, drawings from week 2, drawings from week 3, drawings from week 4)

omer drawing day 35

2011-05-24T18:38:00.002+01:00

from yesterday's broken glass to today's shard of blue and white ceramic...

omer drawings day 34

2011-05-23T21:52:00.003+01:00

I'm getting late with these drawings. getting sloppy.
there are broken shards everywhere that can cut, slice and harm - but this one glistened in the sunshine.

omer drawings day 33

2011-05-22T23:40:00.004+01:00

today was lag b'omer - the 33rd day of the omer - and my friend's birthday. As he said (more or less) - it is a time to celebrate our ability to get on with our lives, despite all the pain that has happened in the past. Amen sweet U - happy 40th motek x

omer drawings day 32

2011-05-22T12:03:00.003+01:00

a day late. and just not feeling very colourful... it happens.

omer drawings day 31

2011-05-20T18:04:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 30

2011-05-19T12:35:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 29

2011-05-18T14:05:00.002+01:00

omer drawings week 4. days 22-28

2011-05-17T12:10:00.005+01:00

4 weeks. just over halfway... a friend came over to the studio and remarked at how small these discarded objects actually are. they are the tiny things that it is easy to not notice and walk past... this walking & drawing has me concentrating on the ground. one of these days I am going to bump into a lamp-post.

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, drawings from week 1, drawings from week 2, drawings from week 3)

omer drawings day 28

2011-05-17T12:07:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 27

2011-05-16T12:03:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 26

2011-05-15T14:12:00.004+01:00

omer drawings day 25

2011-05-14T22:52:00.004+01:00

....halfway there

omer drawings day 24

2011-05-13T17:49:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 23

2011-05-13T17:47:00.004+01:00

(I love how this little twig resembles a bird.

and I know it looks like I missed a day, but blogger was having some shenanigans, and deleted yesterday's post. honest guv)

omer drawings day 22

2011-05-11T13:05:00.003+01:00

omer drawings week 3. days 15-21

2011-05-10T16:21:00.009+01:00

it's been a bit of a week... not even halfway through and wondering what on earth am I doing. this daily task of drawing the banal little bits of nothing that are just lying around. perhaps I should just go for fag-ends and dog-shit? take this to the logical conclusion....(as long as they are finished with a delicate touch of watercolour....) hey-ho. onwards. as you may notice from the differing quality of the images, this week I brought a scanner...

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, drawings from week 1, drawings from week 2)

omer drawings day 21

2011-05-10T16:20:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 20

2011-05-09T14:49:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 19

2011-05-08T19:02:00.001+01:00

omer drawings day 18

2011-05-07T23:26:00.004+01:00

omer drawings day 17

2011-05-06T15:01:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 16

2011-05-05T13:45:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 15

2011-05-04T13:48:00.003+01:00

omer drawings week 2. day 8 - 14

2011-05-03T12:39:00.012+01:00

week2. 14 drawings (which admittedly is 12 more than I thought I would do, self-discipline has never come easily to me). Some of the drawings are more successful than others.... I seem to have been distracted by the shadows, the trace of the object having more colour than the thing itself.

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2, and here to view the drawings from week 1)

omer drawings day 14

2011-05-03T12:33:00.004+01:00

omer drawings day 13

2011-05-02T12:38:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 12

2011-05-01T16:59:00.002+01:00

omer drawings day 11

2011-05-01T00:02:00.004+01:00

omer drawings day 10

2011-04-29T10:09:00.003+01:00

omer drawings day 9

2011-04-28T16:34:00.003+01:00

someone in London is walking around with only one lens in their sunglasses

omer drawings day 8

2011-04-27T11:57:00.005+01:00

omer drawings week 1. days 1 - 7

2011-04-26T23:01:00.011+01:00

1 week over. 7 drawings completed. 7 items that I have found lying in the street. things that were thrown away, discarded, the remnants of living, lost and left there. every day I walk, I draw... and every day I affirm that I am still alive. I am trying to move away from this narrow space. but for now, I will just notice that I am still here.

(for introduction to this project go to omer drawings day 1 & 2)

omer drawings day 6 & 7

2011-04-26T22:56:00.005+01:00

day 6

day 7 (this seemed apt)

omer drawings day 5

2011-04-24T14:13:00.004+01:00

omer drawings day 4

2011-04-23T23:20:00.012+01:00

in the park today saw someone who has not been able to just say hello and ask me how I am doing.....

I am left stumbling and awkwardly mumbling.

still here.... am I still here....?

omer drawings day 3

2011-04-22T14:32:00.008+01:00

omer drawings day 1 & 2

2011-04-21T18:12:00.008+01:00

every year I try to count the omer (the 50 days between pesach and shavuot). every year at some point during that time I fail, I forget, I stumble. I lack basic discipline. This year I will (try to) count the omer doing a drawing a day. but not just any drawing. the omer goes from the time of pesach, freedom from the narrow spaces to shavuot, a time of listening and receiving. my aim is to walk every day, find something in the street that seems part of the detritus, the discarded stuff of living. the remnants to bring it back to my studio and draw it. and with apologies to the artist On Kawara, to title each one 'I am still alive.'

(I am blogging this because, despite this being a deeply personal journey for me - the reclaiming of the rejected and discarded, I need to make it sort of public, for no other reason than to make sure I actually do this and not just give up half-way...)

day 1

day 2

ghosts and shadows

2011-03-07T18:29:00.005Z

it has been a while since I last posted.... but my mind has been churning. I have been invited to be an artist-in-residence on the sisterhood blog at The Forward (an American Jewish newspaper) and so I've been busy with that project. I'm planning on doing a series of clothing pieces - each one based on the different ways clothing is used as a metaphor for meaning. there should be around 10 in total. I'm excited to do the work and get stuck in.

But.. this is what happens. You start working on one idea and then others pop into your head, whisper in your ear and tempt your imagination. Defeated, I have to admit that this would be a really interesting avenue to go down. A series based on the women in the Talmud who are unnamed and yet are a vital part of the story. They lurk in the shadows and haunt the text. Never really having a body, a full fleshed out character - they remain a ghost-like presence on the page...

First up is Rabbi Yochanan's sister. Married off to Reish Lakish to legitimise her brother's chavrutah, she alone is left when the two men argue to death and insanity. She is like the Shechinah, trying to hold the two opposing opinions together under her shelter. But she cannot overcome stubborn men who know they are right, and becomes a lonely widow....

this won't be a series of dresses... or it might be... right now it is just an idea that is forming. it may be more paper-cutting - but playing with the shadows. it might be layers of embroidery on transparent ghost-like fabric...

but whatever it will be. I think I need to find these women and tell their stories.

getting ready

2010-11-16T23:06:00.007Z

the armoury project has met with certain pitfalls. Between the three of us, we have had death, divorce, miscarriage, and illness to deal with. It's been a bit of a summer. But we've got on with it and now the end is in sight, and despite everything we've individually gone through, we've managed to produce something...

Unazia Karim's beautiful handwritten amulet prayers to be placed on the amulet shirt made by Victoria Burgher

my embroidery on the amulet shirt - using one of Unazia's designs

hand-knitted silver wire, chainmail in my piece

the finished artwork will be installed next monday for the 3 Faith Forum's exhibition for Interfaith Week Event

Armoury

2010-08-12T19:26:00.008+01:00

We, (Victoria Burgher, Unaiza Karim & I) won a grant from the 3 Faiths Form to work on a collaborative art project together. And so, been giving funding by a group to harness relationships between religious groups, we decided to build ourselves some armour.... beginning by drawing in the splendid Wallace Collection. But amongst the well-crafted tools for violence and killing, and magnificent yet threatening armour, there was one thing that we found particularly horrific. It was a quote from James Mann, who in 1937, after seeing the death and devastation in the Spanish Civil War, campaigned to save Spain's art and armour from destruction.
He wrote "Human life can be replaced by a comparatively simple process, but the great works of art which have come down to us from the past are irreplaceable."

I'm not sure if it is because the 3 of us are mothers that we found this statement so shocking. The diminishing of the value of individual human life struck us as antithetical to our religious moral sense and outlook on life. That he said it in 1937 after witnessing the trauma, and widespread loss of life in Spain is, in a twisted way, understandable. But the Wallace Collection, in the year 2000, chose that quote to display with with armour he saved, in a praiseworthy manner.

and so we began - talking and drawing the contrast between the violent forms and the delicate surface decoration. The uses of different materials - chainmail, leather, metal plate. and discussing that women today still face various affronts to their basic human dignity, the individual's right to self-determination and autonomy.

it promises to be a fascinating project. I am now investigating chainmail.... (and I thought paper-cutting was meticulous finger breaking work)

new website

2010-08-09T03:45:00.002+01:00

thanks to a very helpful tip from Rachel Mars - I now have a new website.
I will still be using this blog to put up and show any work in progress.

if you have any comments, criticisms, feedback or helpful thoughts about the new site - please let me know.

thank you

maybe this month

2010-06-11T15:21:00.005+01:00

(scroll down to earlier posts for the paper-cuts)

this is a new piece - just finished. it is white on white embroidery on niddah examination cloths, that are sewn together with red thread. Each square is embroidered with the text 'maybe this month'

(click on image to enlarge)

there are 15 squares to correspond to the 15 examinations that a woman does to herself in the week leading up to going to the mikveh.

Temptress!

2010-05-08T23:23:00.019+01:00

(click on image to enlarge)

R Yohanan says: We learn fear of sin from a maiden (betullah). He heard of a maiden who would prostrate herself saying "Master of the World! You created Gan Eden and Gehinnom (hell), the righteous and the wicked. May it Be Your Will that I not cause men to sin."

for years I toed the line. believed in the reciprocal community arrangement of mitzvot. we are all responsible for each other and we all help each other fulfil what they need to fulfil. the laws of tznuit (modesty) are there because we do not live as isolated selves but we are connected to and affect others around us. So women have been covering up in order to help men have a more spiritual life... but what do we get in return? is there any support from the men to our spirituality?

The discussion about modest dress normally begins with a worthy line about keeping the female body beautiful and special - the king's daughter's beauty is within, but ends with shame and disgrace. judging women and their bodies and labelling, not as beautiful or special, but vessels for sin and temptation to sinful behaviour. walking talking yetzer horas (evil inclination). Making women ashamed not celebratory of their bodies, their curves, their sexual selves.

Like an alcoholic blaming the bottle of wine for their own inability to only have 1 or 2 glasses, the men blame the women for tempting them, for their lack of control.

going back to the quote, the maiden (the hebrew is betullah, a virgin) this sexually inexperienced young girl is praying to God because she is afraid of sin. but whose sin is it? Not hers, but the men who may be aroused by her body. Her body who the 'Master' created.

This is a story that men tell themselves about women. It allows men to abdicate their sexual responsibility as they tell themselves that women have taken this role on. It sexualises young women, and puts their bodies in a context of shame and disgrace.

food and sex

2010-03-10T23:59:00.005Z

'a woman prefers her husband to be a donkey driver, at home every shabbat to satisfy her sexually, even though he only earns 1 kab of wheat, rather than a distant camel driver who has sex once in 30 days, even though he earns 9 kabim' Ketubot 61a

women prefer regular sex to a higher standard of living... those, silly impractical women. (click on image to enlarge)

I have incorporated food associated with sex and fertility, including some from the traditional 7 species (I am a traditionalist at heart) - figs, pomegranates, grapes and of course wheat in the lacework, all of which is dripping with honey...

the ladies guild collection

2010-03-01T12:10:00.000Z

this is the ladies guild collection, story so far... there is more to come.

these paper-cuts combine rabbinic misogyny with sexualised images of women in the form of a doily. the doily is an out-date, fussy, item used in food presentation - because it simply would not do to have a piece of cake or biscuit displayed in direct contact with a naked plate. The Ladies Guild is a the name for the women's group in traditional orthodox synagogues in Anglo-Jewry, whose main function is to prepare the refreshments.

they will be shown at the JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) conference next week. this week's task is to make a postcard. but which one?

the ladies guild collection (cont'd)

2010-03-01T12:06:00.000Z

welcome to my nonsense

2010-02-24T16:58:00.000Z

"...the mind of most women is not disposed to study, and they will turn the words of Torah into words of nonsense due to their limited understanding" Rambam Hilchot Talmud Torah 1:13

this quote is from Rambam's laws about Torah study, where he states that as women are not obligated to study torah they receive less reward for their efforts. However, why bother. Since women won't understand it anyway and will just turn it into nonsense.... or paper-cuts... (click on image to enlarge)

since the tone of this infantilises women, I have depicted them as school-girls. some studious...

and some just vacant and confused... (in a St. Trinians style)

picking up on the nonsense theme, there are various quotes from Alice in Wonderland dotted about

close up of the lettering, showing the english and hebrew handwriting

Pride and Prejudice: Women and Tallit

2010-02-16T16:45:00.001Z

(the context of this paper-cut is the recent arrest of a woman wearing a tallit at the kotel)

Rav Ovadiah Yosef has been quoted as saying "they should be wrapped in a tallit and buried" - hence the shroud in the bottom

the quote from the Rema seems to be one of the main objections to women wearing a tallit. it is permitted, with a bracha, but then disallowed due to yohora - religious arrogance. So I have included various haughty women who are grooming themselves.

and a dominatrix

and in the background of the lacework, there are tangled tzitzit. which I will never ever do again as a paper-cut.

Lechery! Adulteress!

2010-02-09T00:17:00.000Z

this mishnah is discussing the ritual for women whose husband suspects them of being unfaithful. The woman has to go through a fairly shameful public procedure, culminating in drinking some bitter waters. If she is guilty of adultery then she dies, in a spectacular fashion. But there is a twist. if she has any Torah knowledge to her credit then it doesn't work. There is an opinion (Ben Azzai) in this mishnah (not quoted in this paper-cut) that women should therefore be taught Torah. However, along comes Rabbi Eliezer who says no. If women learn Torah then they will know that this won't work and therefore they will be at it like rabbits with anyone who comes along, as they know that they can get away with it. The hebrew is 'tiflut' which is sometimes translated as 'foolishness' or the sexually laden term 'whoreishness.' I like the finger waving tone of LECHERY. Unfortunately for the development of women's education in Jewish history Rabbi Eliezer's opinion became the influential voice. Because you can't trust women with Torah, when all they want is sex...

the lacework is moving away from the cheeky pin-ups of the previous paper-cuts. here you will find shamed women, a fist about to cast the first stone, lipstick on collar, blind-folded women, and of course, nothing says 'adultery' like a motel sign

as I have combined both the original hebrew and the english translation, I have slanted my english handwriting to match the hebrew script. makes it slightly less readable, but visually coherent.

talking to women will send you to hell

2010-02-03T17:52:00.000Z

The full text of this mishna is "Yose ben Yochanan of Jerusalem used to say: Let your house be open wide, let the poor join the members of your household, and do not converse much with women. This was said about one's wife, all the more so does it apply to another man's wife. Hence the sages say: a man who talks too much with women brings trouble upon himself, neglects the study of Torah, and in the end will inherit Gehinnom (hell)." (Pirkei Avot 1:5)
what starts as a positive directive to care for the vulnerable members of society ends in a concern for too much social interaction with one's wife. And other men's property, sorry, other men's wives.
it is often translated (by squirmy apologetics) as "do not gossip with women" as that would be degrading to them. except the hebrew is 'si'cha' which is a conversation.

whispering women - sexually alluring, or gossiping. either one is an activity that distracts those poor men.

amongst the lacework there are 'branks' - english 16th century punishment devices used for women who were accused of gossiping, and other misdemeanors that bring shame on their menfolk.

silencing women

sometimes it is hard to be a woman

2010-01-28T00:46:00.000Z

ahh yes, the morning bracha - Blessed are You God for not making me a woman... doesn't matter how you spin it, there is no escaping the blatant misogyny of this bracha. The lacework of this doily contains chains, childbirth, frustrated housewife. And a breast cancer cell and a uterus. Because at the end of the day, it is hard to be a woman and perhaps men should appreciate this. click on the image to enlarge.

the lace also contains these 2 figures, with angel wings. because women are on a higher spiritual plane... of course we are. (and that's why we sit higher up in the ladies gallery, closer to heaven...)

wine, women and beasts

2010-01-24T10:39:00.000Z

the context of this wonderful observation of drunk women's rampant sexual appetite is a discussion in the talmud about how much provision for wine should be stipulated in a woman's ketubah.

4 cups of wine eh ladies is what it takes to really get us going... as my mother asked: what about seder night? (where we are obligated to drink 4 cups, women too). gives chad gadyah a whole different reading.

the lacework is quite detailed, containing drunk women, horses, as well as sexually provocative women. And four glasses of wine. For a sense of scale, I've photographed this on my cutting mat which has a grid of 1cm squares. (the overall dimensions of the doilie are 35cm x 27cm).

a woman's wisdom is in her spinning

2009-12-23T02:37:00.001Z

R. Eliezer again. A woman's wisdom is in her spinning... the full context of this was R. Eliezer refused to answer a torah question as it was asked by a woman. Amongst the lace work of this doily I have incorporated spiderwebs, details of various different spinning techniques, and a s&m tied-up woman. (click on picture to see a bigger version)

I used my handwriting as a template for the lettering, and decided to cut out the paper and leave the letters (as opposed to cutting out the letters in the previous papercuts)

witchcraft

2009-12-08T18:17:00.000Z

this is the latest paper cut in the ladies guild collection. I have decided to do the lettering as handwriting and made a complete rather than partial doily. This one has witchcraft symbols and pin-up witches integrated into the lace pattern.

cutting out the lettering, which resulted in this fragment of text

lechery

2009-12-04T01:25:00.000Z

this is the latest papercut. direct from the cutting board. it is from the mishna in sotah - teaching a woman torah is like teaching her tiflut. which depending on your version, translates as lechery, folly, whoreishness, foolishness, lasciviousness. I like the disapproving finger-waving tone of 'lechery'. the context being that the test for suspected adulteress women would not work if she is learned. So if you teach her anything, it will only encourage to have lots of illicit sex as she knows that she will be able to get away with it... (to be fair to the mishna, there is another view that encourages teaching woman, but that is not the one that has been taken up and influential to the development of education for females...)

drawings

2009-12-01T12:52:00.000Z

these are some drawings from while ago from when I drew Alabama 3 a lot.

ladies guild collection

2009-11-11T13:08:00.001Z

this is a beginning of a series of papercuts. The Ladies Guild is basically the kiddush rota at the orthodox synagogue that I grew up in. Women's communal involvement was solely connected to food preparation, and presentation - putting the cake out only on pretty doillies was part of that. I have used the doillie as the setting for various rabbinic mysoginist quotations. these quotes have been chosen by a range of orthodox women educators, each one having their pet piece of text that makes them go 'grrrr....'

more sefer torah corsets

2009-11-11T13:01:00.000Z

this corset from the 'maternal torah' series is pregnant. the talmud describes the fetus in the womb as being given instruction from an angel. the mother's body becomes a place of revelation, a personal har sinai. I have called this piece - 'the yeshiva inbetween - yeshiva bifnim', inbetween heaven and earth, the upper and lower yeshivot.

sefer torah corsets

2009-11-11T12:47:00.000Z

these are a series called 'torah imecha - maternal torah.'
They combine elements of a traditional sefer torah mantle - the oval top piece with 2 holes cut out, the proportions of height + width + depth; with a women's corset. Emphasizing the feminine aspect of torah. The corset seems to be a perfect metaphor for torah and halacha (jewish law), in that it constrains and restricts but also gives shape and support.
they are made from synammay - a millenary fabric and are suspended from the top, and are extremely lightweight.

red thread embroideried

2007-12-04T21:35:00.001Z

garment of light

2007-10-17T14:42:00.000+01:00